RSS Test

This is a test of my new RSS Notification system. The notifier on my computer in voluntary cooperation with my desktop and me have developed this test for the purpose notification investigation. If this had been an actual article, my RSS notifier should have let me know immediately that one of my feeds had been updated.

This is only a test.

WorshipForum Woes

If you are a regular WF member and you are wondering where our little cyber-village went, have no fear! WorshipForum is on it's way back and nothing has been lost.

The story is that I'm stuck with this absent-minded, incompetent administrative assistant who once again forgot to renew the website domain name this year and "WorshipForum.com" expired. Once I had to start dealing the registration company, well...the blah blah blah gets more technical from there so I'll spare you. The sum up is that the registration company says they are forwarding the name back to my hosting company and everything should start singing again in a few days.

Unfortunately my administrative assistant works for free, sounds just like me on the phone and has a very fragile ego, so I'm afraid until I can afford someone better we are all stuck with him.

10 Previously-unmentioned Sabbatical Interestlings...

...in loosely chronological order.

10. Standing where the earth is latitudinally fattest.

9. Baboons, monkees, really really longhorned cows, meerkats, warthogs, a meteor shower of lightening bugs, house geckos, crocodile, deer, cob, antelope, fish eagles and numberless other birdies unidentified and of exotic color.

8. Receiving a live chicken as part of an honorarium for a speaking engagement. (The chicken wasn't actually exactly for me as there were several speakers that day, but I'd like to think that I earned my "piece of the chicken" if you will.)

7. Singing Hark the Herald Angel Sing in Swahili at Christmas service.

6. Having pizza delivered to the Cash's house. The "delivery guy" took a taxi from Kampala to Fort Portal: around 198 miles.

5. Eating crocodile kabobs and chips at Sam's Restaurant.

4. White water rafting (including two totally wicked class 5 rapids) on the Nile River.

3. Sitting patiently in the car at the entrance of the ABCDEFG while a security officer checks for bombs.

2. Engaging comparison and contrast of following Jesus in Uganda and the United States.

1. Chasing the Sun from Dubai (departure time 8:00 a.m.) to New York (arrval time 2:00 p.m.) and making the trip in 6.75 movies flat (Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Cinderella Man, Dark Water, Four Brothers, Hostage, Just like Heaven, and most of Lord of War;) or approximately 14 hours.

Safe At Home

5 planes and 38 hours later we arrived safely in Portland at 2:15 a.m. this morning. Our children traveled like absolute angels, more mature than many of the adults sitting around us (which unfortunately is not saying much.) Thanks to our dedicated Welcoming Committee who turned out in the middle of the night to help us get our kids, luggage and sleep-deprived bodies out of the plane and into the mini van. We drove straight to Taco Bell (it was 3:30 pm Africa time, and we hadn't had lunch yet; everyone say "Thank You, Jesus" for 24 hour drive-thru) and then on to Grandpa and Grandma's house to start jetlag detox.

Kaelea and I went straight to bed. The kids were way too wired, so Grandma managed them until Grandpa got home from work. Kaelea and I woke up about 9:30 a.m. and the kids went to bed about 30 minutes later. Thanks to those who prayed for our travel safety and sanity. Thanks again to the Cash family for their long-suffering hospitality. We have lots of stories to share both online and in person and look forward to catching up with you all in the weeks to come.

Chicken on a Stick

Ten little Indians piled into the Land Cruiser this morning and made their way from Fort Portal to Kampala. We stopped in Mubende which according to Cheryl is called McDonald’s by some missionaries because as soon as you park they come to your window with food. This is the closest thing you will find to a drive thru. We had some sandwiches and Pringle’s along with us, but when the lady came with a basket of Chicken on a Stick, we just could not turn her away. That chicken was finger-lickin’ good without the need for finger-lickin’ thanks to the built-in dinnerware.We arrived safely in Kampala on schedule (which means today) and settled into our rooms. We are staying at a hotel called the “American Club” or the “American Recreation Association” or the “ARA.” I’ve decided to call it “Africa’s Best Club for Dozing, Entertainment, Fellowship and Grub, or the “ABCDEFG” for short. It has an Olympic-sized bath tub and mosquito nets for each bed and drinking water in your room and a free fruit plate breakfast which Kaelea says has the best pineapple she has ever tasted. Oh, and did I mention wireless internet access? I highly recommend it.

We had some play time some nap time some dinner time some bed time and then bath time for mom and dad. Then for a late night snack I had a Nestlé Lion and a Coke. A Nestlé Lion consists of a vanilla wafer cookie (the layered kind that comes in vanilla, chocolate, and whatever pink is) dipped in caramel and then dipped in milk chocolate. Yeah, it was horrible.

See you next week in the PST zone.

Apparently...It's Contageous.

The Beginning of the End

This is the view from Jeff and Cheryl's back porch; not such a bad place to spend a few weeks being still. Today is our last full day in Fort Portal, Uganda. Kaelea (mostly) and I started packing crates to make the trip home. Tomorrow we will travel to Kampala, spend a few days shopping, thrill-seeking and repacking. We will start air travel late on Tuesday night and land in Portland around two in the morning on Thursday.

The kids have had a great time hanging with Kinley, Alex, Isaac, and Silas. I had some concerns about seven children staying in one house for such an extended period of time. There have been some frustrating moments for everyone, but I think a lot of prayer and some strategic proximity "breaks" have helped us to have a very good time together. All in all, despite the countless possession disputes and minor territory skirmishes I think that we are all parting very good friends; a grace of Christ to be sure. Our kids are already making plans for special hang out time when the Cashes return on furlough.

Today Isaiah and I have been discussing our mission and strategy as super heroes. We have decided to revise our method of opposing evil from fighting bad guys to teaching bad guys how to be good guys. It was mostly his idea, but I'm willing to try it if he is. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for super powers.

Later in the afternoon, he walked over to my chair, put his hand on my arm, and looked at me.

Sai:	I think that a lot of Africans don't have much money, and some people in the world don't have food and they can't get any.
Ike:	I agree. Is there anything we can do?
Sai:	Give them our money and food.
Ike:	If we give them our food and money then we will not have as much. We may not get to eat things or buy things that we want.
Sai:	Dad. It is always good to share.

So...what's Kaelea been up to?

And Now for Something by Steve Martin

I don't really know Steve Martin exactly personally, but I really like him and I always have. I think he is really funny and I always have. You may know that he plays the banjo, but do you know that he won a grammy for banjo playing? I think that's really cool, you know.

I see Steve Martin as a true comedic artist. I think that he has a masterful grasp on what "entertainment" is and is not supposed to be. I imagine that he has thought hard about all the different things that might make people laugh (because lots of different kinds of things make lots of different kinds of people laugh) and he has had the courage to take the step pasting thinking and actually try doing a lot of different things. I think the things he chooses to do demonstrate a desire to make people laugh even greater than a desire to be considered funny. That is no small deal to me. What can I say? I am a fan.

You might know that Steve writes novellas and plays and that he writes articles for the New Yorker. I have reprinted one of my favorite of Steve's New Yorker articles here for your enjoyment.

---

A Public Apology
By Steve Martin
From The New Yorker, November 17, 1997.

Looking out over the East River from my jail cell, and still running for public office, I realize that I have taken several actions in my life for which I owe public apologies.

Once, I won a supermarket sweepstakes even though my second cousin was a box boy in that very store. I would like to apologize to Safeway Food, Inc., and its employees. I would like to apologize to my family, who have stood by me, and especially to my wife Karen. A wiser and more loyal spouse could not be found.

When I was twenty-one, I smoked marijuana every day for one year. I would like to apologize for the next fifteen years of anxiety attacks and drug-related phobias, including the feeling that when Ed Sullivan introduced Wayne and Shuster he was actually signalling my parents that I was high. I would like to apologize to my wife Karen, who still believes in me, and to the Marijuana Growers Association of Napa Valley and its affiliates, for any embarrassment I may have caused.

I would also like to mention a little incident that took place in the Holiday Inn in Ipsilante, Michigan, during that same time. As I was lying in bed in Room 342, I began counting the ceiling tiles. Since the room was square, it was an easy computation, taking no longer than the weekend. As Sunday evening rolled around, I began to compute how many imaginary ceiling tiles it would take to cover the walls and floor of my room. When I checked out of the hotel, I flippantly told the clerk that it would take twelve hundred and ninety-four imaginary ceiling tiles to fill the entire room. Two weeks later, while attempting to break the record for consecutive listenings to "American Pie," I realized I had included the real tiles in my calculation of imaginary tiles; I should have subtracted them from my total. I would like to apologize to the staff of the Holiday Inn for any inconvenience I may have caused, to the wonderful people at Universal Ceiling Tile, to my wife Karen, and to my two children, whose growth is stunted.

Several years ago, In California, I ate my first clam and said it tasted "like a gonad dipped in motor oil." I would like to apologize to Bob 'n' Betty's Clam Fiesta, and especially to Bob, who I found out later had only one testicle. I would like to apologize to the waitress, June, and her affiliates, and to the DePaul family dog, who suffered the contents of my nauseated stomach.

There are several incidents of sexual harassment I would like to apologize for:

In 1992, I was interviewing one Ms. Anna Floyd for a secretarial position when my pants accidentally fell down around my ankles as I was saying, "Ever seen one of these before?" Even though I was referring to my new Pocket Tape Memo Taker, I would like to apologize to Ms. Floyd for any grief this misunderstanding might have caused her. I would also like to apologize to the Pocket Tape people and their affiliates, and to International Hardwood Designs, whose floor my pants fell upon. I would especially like to apologize to my wife Karen, whose great understanding fills me with humility.

Once, in Hawaii, I had sex with a hundred-and-two-year-old male turtle. It is hard to argue that it was consensual. I would like to apologize to the turtle, his family, the Kahala Hilton Hotel, and the hundred or so diners who were eating at the Hilton's outdoor café. I would also like to apologize to my loyal wife Karen, who had to endure the subsequent news item in the "Also Noted" section of the Santa Barbara Women's Club Weekly.

In 1987, I attended a bar mitzvah in Manhattan while wearing white gabardine pants, white patent-leather slippers, a blue blazer with gold buttons, and a yachting cap. I would like to apologize to the Jewish people, to the state of Israel, to my family, who have stood by me, and to my wife, Karen, who has also endured my seventeen affairs and three out-of-wedlock children. Further, I would like to apologize to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, for referring to its members as "colored people." My apology would not be complete if it didn't include my new wife, Nancy, who is of a pinkish tint, and our two children, who are white-colored.

Finally, I would like to apologize for spontaneously yelling the word "Savages!" after losing six thousand dollars on a roulette spin at the Choctaw Nation Casino and Sports Book. When I was growing up, the meaning of this word in our household closely approximated the Hawaiian "Aloha," and my use of it in the casino was meant to express "Until we meet again."

Now, on with the campaign!